Who am I? Who are you?

My husband randomly brings home Noomas for me to watch as he gets them at church. If you haven’t checked out these short videos I think you’re missing out. They are such good reminders of lessons we may or may not already know. This particular one we just watched is called Name. If you have about 11 minutes to watch Part 1 and Part 2 on Youtube, I strongly suggest you do- if not, come back when you do, because this post will make more sense when you do. (I don’t feel too badly about linking you to Youtube to watch it since #1- we do own it and #2- the majority of people whom it would benefit to see it would most likely not purchase it.)

So after watching this we talked for a while about the kinds of things that we felt were holding us back from being our true selves. I talked about how I used to never even be able to go to church without looking around the room and comparing myself to every young woman my age to the degree that I would leave not even knowing what the pastor preached on. This began at a young age and quite honestly still exists in my heart, but thankfully not to the degree that it did just a few years ago. I remember driving home from Wooster one night where I went to a college program at a church every week and just breaking down in tears in the car because I knew my thoughts were not of Him but they continued to exist in me. I would compare my looks, my clothes, my friends, my personality, my EVERYTHING with the other girls and judge myself and them based on my conclusions. Then a while later as I got married and began having children I have found myself comparing my marriage, my mothering skills, my talents, my finances- all more serious things- to other woman and would just constantly feel so unsatisfied with who I was and my life. As Rob said, “We will never live our true selves when we are comparing ourselves to those around us.” “We need to be saved from the times when we haven’t been our true selves.” It really is about being ok with the life God has given to you. Not ashamed. Not depressed that it’s not as SEEMINGLY exciting as others’. Because it’s so often ”What about him, what about her. And we’ve missed the voice of Jesus saying, ‘You. Follow Me.’” I fee like I’ve grown a lot even in the past year or 2 in this. While I still catch myself from time to time making those comparisons (that I think woman naturally do thanks to being raised in the media-age of constantly being told we’re not good enough and what we need to do to “better” ourselves), I’m definitely on a better path. I’m satisfied with my life.

As my friend Steph just wrote on her blog HERE about the same type of thoughts and feelings, “My kid is completely different than yours, God knows my husband is not yours, and I should know by now that I am not you.  I’m not creative like you, or thin like you, or as short as you, or as blonde as you, or as poor as you, or as wealthy.  My scrapbook pages arent ever going to look like yours, It is not warm here today.   My dogs will NEVER be as obedient as yours.  And who is this all knowing all seeing all loving mother that I compare myself to?  She’s not even one woman really!  She’s the blogs I read, the pictures I comb through.  She’s the one who takes those awesome day to day pics.  She’s the one who creates and designs and inspires the people around her.   But does she know that she’s that cool to the people who see her?  Or is she sitting at home too wondering why she cant be more like that mom she reads about who does Yoga with her babies and they all love it.”

My hope is that women everywhere (and men) can find their true selves and be happy with who that is. We need to turn a deaf ear to those influences in our lives telling us “if only…”. Because if we spend our whole lives waiting for that… then what will be left of our time here on earth?